Doing it For Him
by C.Queen
Summary: 18 year old Rin thinks she's a burden to Sesshoumaru so she leaves. Sess wants her back? and if so why?
1. For Love

When You Love Someone  
  
****Note: I don't own anything but the plot. Please enjoy and review cause I'd love to hear from you. Thanks!****  
  
As quietly as a mouse she crept down the stairs, years of training and climbing these stairs allowed her to do so even in the dark. She wasn't suppose to be up but she'd left one of her shoes downstairs and she didn't want Jakken to have another excuse to yell at her more then he already did. Hearing talking Rin pulled back into the shadows and sucked in her stomach as much as possible. This was so much easier when she was little Rin thought with regret. Boy did it suck to grow up. Careful to lessen her breathing Rin moved slightly out of the shadows to look down the stairway. Their was a light in the throne room and the voices were coming from in there. Carefully walking the rest of the way down she kept ready to move in case whoever was in the room came out. Pushing back her bangs Rin sent up a prayer and tip toeing across the floor prepared to go past the door. Backing up she took off at a run and just as she moved past the door did a back flip so that she went sailing past the door and out of sight if someone had opened the door at the moment. Landing without a sound Rin moved towards the door to make sure no one was coming to let her have it. Hearing no one coming she was just about to leave when she recognized her name on her Master's lips. Was he talking about her? Leaning closer Rin struggled to make out the conversation.  
  
  
  
"But what are we to do about Rin Master?" Jakken asked with a note of exasperation. "She cannot be here when the other demons arrive."  
  
"Where am I suppose to send her Jakken?" Shesshomaru said as he waved his hands in exasperation though it didn't show on his face. "There are many who wish me harm and would not hesitate to use her against me."  
  
"But she cannot stay here. She was enough of a problem when she was a child but she's not a girl anymore Master. Many question what she is to you and say she is your mistress. If she's here while the demons visit then they will assume that that is what she is." Jakken said looking at his Master sadly. "You'll never find a mate if you keep the girl."  
  
"Rin stays, that's final." Shesshomaru said with a note of finality. "I will figure out what to do with Rin but she stays."  
  
"But Master, keeping her is a disgrace upon your name. If you don't watch it you'll lose your status and be reduced to being treated like Yasha." Jakken said with a note of desperation. "She's not worth it."  
  
"Silence. Leave now Jakken before I kill you for daring to speak to me like that." Shesshomaru said, his voice filled with ice and promise of dire consequences if provoked further.  
  
"Yes Master." Jakken said bowing before his master before leaving through the south door, leaving his master with his thoughts.  
  
  
  
What am I to do? Shesshomaru wondered to himself as he sat down. He refused to give up Rin, she was his and no one was going to take her from him. But people believed that she was his mistress, when had he sank so low in the other demon's esteem? He was lord over the West, he was a great and powerful demon, not to be toyed with or taken lightly. Who in their right minds would think that he'd lower himself to mate with a human, and Rin at that. She was just a child. No she isn't a little voice inside his head reminded him as he pictured her in his mind. She'd been with him for over ten years now and she was no longer the child she'd been. She was old enough to find a mate Shesshomaru realized, most girls her age did. Kagome had become Inu-yasha's mate when she was eighteen, the age Rin was now. Where had all the time gone Shesshomaru wondered wearily. Maybe Jakken was right for once, maybe it was time to let her go.  
  
  
  
Rin felt tears well in her eyes as she saw the dejected look on her Master's face. He was upset because of her Rin thought with tears rolling down her cheeks as she noiselessly let them fall. Moving away from the door she moved on to the study and opening the door walked inside and carefully shut it behind her.  
  
"I didn't know I was causing my Master so much trouble staying here." She whispered as she leaned up against the oak doors. She loved her Master more then anything else in the world and she'd rather die then cause him a moment of trouble. What have I done Rin thought wiping her tears away. Here I thought my Master benefited from my company and help, but all she'd brought him was grief. She'd known that several of the servants believed she was Master's mistress but she hadn't known that the other demons believed it too. Never mind that he treated her as his pup when he actually showed her affection she didn't see how anyone could come to the conclusion that she was his mate. Not that she'd mind if she was Rin thought bitterly, but she'd given up on that years ago. She'd thought about going to the well many times but when her master had heard her idea to wish to become a demon like him he'd forbidden it and made her swear never to do it. After all she would still have been born a human, and a human she would stay in his eyes until the day she died. Why oh why couldn't she have been born a demon, then she wouldn't be a black mark on Master's name and he and Jakken would be proud to call her theirs. But tears and wishing didn't do anything more then give false hope. She would no longer be a burden on her Master, she would do him that service. She would leave his company so that he might be happy.  
  
"Even if it breaks my heart to leave you Shesshomaru I will do it for you. After all, when you love someone as much as I love you, your willing to do whatever it takes to make them happy. Including leaving them."  
  
  
  
Rin looked both ways before edging closer to the balcony. It had been two weeks since she'd overheard Jakken and Master talking and she'd planned her escape down to a T. Edging closer she looked both ways before leaving her shelter to sprint to the balcony. Her Master and most of the servants were downstairs preparing to greet and serve his guest and Shesshomaru had locked her in her room with orders to stay put. But I'm afraid that that's one order that I cannot follow Master Rin thought sadly. Standing on the balcony Rin looked back behind her and sighed. Dark and depressing though it was this building had been her home for as long as she could remember and there were good memories stored in these walls. Squaring her shoulders she silently bid farewell to her old life. Good bye Shesshomaru Rin thought as a single tear rolled down her cheek. I will love you until the day I die. Good bye Jakken, we had some good times, and I am sorry for all the trouble I've caused you over the years. With another sigh she turned back to the balcony and swinging over the side began to climb down. Having been practicing all week she managed to find the foot holes she'd created and when she was almost there she let go and landed with a slight thud on the ground. Looking up she congratulated herself on an escape well done. Now all I have to figure out is how I'm suppose to live the rest of my life without Shesshomaru. Sticking out her chin she squared her shoulder and quickly made her way towards the steps and to her new life. A life of misery and sadness without her Master.  
  
****Hi ya. Now it was short but I'm not sure exactly how to proceed so I decided to put this up and hope for suggestions. Please give me any suggestions and I'll try to continue this fic when I've got a better grasp on how to proceed. Thanks and hope you like so far.**** 


	2. Means to Me

*****Note: As always I don't own anything but the plot. Again I state for the record that I don't know much about the series and I'm probably making Shesshomaru out of character slightly, or at least I hope only slightly. If I make any major errors let me know and I hope you like and will review. Thanks****  
  
  
  
Means To Me  
  
  
  
Rin rushed down the hill and gave an audible sigh of relief when her contact came into view in the dim light. Her long, black braid flying out behind her Rin kept as quiet as possible as she approached careful not to trust until she checked things out and confirmed that all was as it should be. She'd paid the man handsomely to provide her with a horse to aid her in her escape but there was no telling whether or not he meant to honour the arrangement. It was ironic Rin thought as she moved through the shadows, Master's distrust has worn off on me and I'm as distrustful of them as he is. Well not that bad Rin admitted having already begun to count Kagome, Sango and the monk as friends and they were all human. And so was she, which was what had brought her here in the first place. She didn't have much time though so she'd have to take a slight risk. She could make out two horses from her crouching position behind some bushes and she saw and sensed only the one man who she'd deliberately chosen because he didn't pose much of a threat if he tried anything. Slipping her prized dagger out of her boot she slipped it under her sleeve and slowly made her way out of hiding, careful to not make any sudden movements that might make the man panic.  
  
  
  
  
  
"You made it." Rin said quietly as she came up from behind him having not made a sound during her approach. Seeing his thin shoulders bunch up to yell out she quickly wrapped a slender hand around his face and waited until he'd loosened his muscles before letting him go. "Screaming would not be a good idea. Especially given all the sharp hearing beings around tonight."  
  
"You scared the Hell out of me girl. You got my money?" The man said staring at her curiously. He'd met up with her at the market and he was curious to know why she'd chosen a meeting place so close to the Demon's holding.  
  
"If one of those steeds is mine and is in good condition then yes." Rin said coldly as she moved away to check out the horses. The animals appeared to be healthy as well as she could tell and she did know where to find him if he thought to cheat her. She'd already gone into vivid detail as to what she'd do if he tried. "Which one?"  
  
"The black, it'll blend into the darkness better." The men said nervously as he responded to the way the horses were acting skittish around the girl. It had taken most of his skills to get them this close to the demon's lair and their obvious fear was infecting him as well.  
  
They must smell Master on my clothing Rin thought as she blew into the horse's nose so that it would recognize her scent. "Here's your money." She said finally pulling a pouch from her belt and throwing it in his direction. "Count it if you like."  
  
"I'm sure it's all there." The man said too worried to worry about price. "We should be going, the demon that dwells near here hates humans with a passion. Not that a beast like him feels anything." The man snorted and it took a large amount of control to prevent herself from telling him different.  
  
"Then our business is concluded." Rin said as she pulled herself up onto the horse. "Thank you for your help."  
  
"No problem ma'am." The man said before walking over to pick up his pack and stamp out the low blaze from the fire he'd made while he'd waited for her to arrive. 'Till we meet again then."  
  
"Doubtful." Rin said with a shake of her head and kicking her heels into the horse's flakes sped off into the coming night leaving nothing but dust in her wake.  
  
  
  
  
  
Shesshomaru walked quickly up the steps as he struggles not to show his eagerness. By the Gods he'd become soft he thought in self-disgust as he showed his sharp canine teeth to a servant walking by who instantly picked up the pace. The demons downstairs, talking about the lands they'd recently acquired and the lives taken in it. Once he would have joined them in there bragging but for some reason he couldn't. When they spoke of how they'd ended pitiful human lives images of Rin had come to mind and he'd felt sickened at the thought of her suffering the way these nameless humans had. He was going to her now, pitiful as it was. He'd told the others he needed to speak with one of his servants about an infraction but really want he needed was to assure himself that she was safe and sound. Not that she was like those other pitiful human beings Shesshomaru thought with a touch of pride. He had taught her better. His Rin would never cower before an enemy; she would fight to the death with honor and bravery. She might be a female and a human in body but she had the heart of a demon and the honor of one. And his Rin would never be in such a situation he told himself darkly. He would never allow any harm to come to her while he drew breath. She was his possession, his prize, she belonged to him and no one would ever take her from him, no one.  
  
  
  
"Master." Jakken said from his place in front of Rin's door. He'd ordered the toad to stand guard over her door in case any of the demons thought to approach her. Human or not he knew that some demons were willing to lower themselves to mating with human females and he was not willing to take the chance that they would try to take Rin.  
  
"Rin." Shesshomaru growled low looking at the large oak door.  
  
"She hasn't stirred your lordship. She went in without protest and went to bed, said she hadn't slept well last night anyway. Food was brought to her an hour ago but she was asleep still so it was left on her table. The servant said everything appeared fine Master." The toad reported as he stood beneath his master's glare. His Master had seemed strained by something lately and despite his prodding had been told nothing. It probably was because of Rin, she'd been acting strange the last few weeks and it wouldn't surprise him at all to learn she'd displeased the Master. That she was in trouble would explain why she'd been so nice and obedient lately.  
  
"Very well." Shesshomaru said as he reached into his robes for the key to her room. He hadn't given the key to Jakken because it would have been to easy for another demon to take it from him. Even his pathetic half demon brother had successfully best the toad demon in battle. He'd only left him to guard because he knew that the toad would make plenty of noise with his screams which would have alerted him to the problem and put Rin on defense. Placing the key in the lock he unlocked the door and stepping in closed the door firmly behind him. He wouldn't stay long, just long enough to see her and find out what she'd been up to. Walking into the bedroom he saw that there was a large lump in the middle of the bed that he assumed was Rin. But it wasn't he realized as his senses went on red alert. He didn't sense Rin's presence in the room, she wasn't here. Turning towards the balcony Shesshomaru calmly walked out only to find that she wasn't there either. Where could she be Shesshomaru wondered as he felt a trickle of something he had not felt since he was a pup. Fear. Something was wrong, he knew it with every beat of his heart. Turning back to the bedroom he ripped the covers off the bed to reveal clothing piled to look like the shape of a human body. Was Rim playing another trick on Jakken Shesshomaru wondered as he laid a hand on the clothing. But she wouldn't have pulled such a trick on tonight of all nights, she was too smart to do that. He'd long made her aware of the dangers and she would never have deliberately put him into a situation like this. It was then that his searching eyes hit upon the note propped up against an unlit candlestick. With a hand that shook slightly he lifted the letter from its resting place and moving closer to the fire began to read.  
  
  
  
  
  
When he was done reading Shesshomaru carefully set the letter beside him and tried to process what he'd just read. Rin had run away because she thought she was a burden to him and didn't want to cause him any more trouble. He'd been aware that many assume that she was his mistress but he hadn't realized that word of this had reached Rin's ears. She thought that if she left he'd be able to find a mate and be happy, she blamed herself for his current bachelor status. But she was wrong Shesshomaru though feeling as though someone had just run him through. So very wrong. If he'd wanted a mate he could have had one long ago. Her presence hadn't hindered that, he simply had as yet no use for a permanent mate which was his kinds nature. And now his Rin was somewhere out there, alone and probably scared without him there to protect her. She'd sacrificed her own well being for his own thinking that she was doing the right thing. But it wasn't the right thing Rin he thought as he stared off into space. And you will not leave me, you're mine and mine alone.  
  
  
  
Rin reluctantly slowed the horse down as she left the trail she'd been following. She'd been riding hard for at least two hours now and it wouldn't do for the horse to keel over from exertion when she still had far to go. She would be at the cabin in a few more hours and then she and her newest purchase could rest awhile. Inu-yasha had mentioned it a while back and though it would probably be a little damp and rundown it would still provide some shelter from the elements. Keeping her eyes peeled for anything out of place Rin thanked the gods that Shesshomaru had taken the time to teach her how to defend herself otherwise she would be really scared right about now. He hadn't wanted to teach her but she'd pointed out that he couldn't be with her twenty-four seven and that should they come under attack having some skills could come in handy. So by the age of sixteen she'd been able to weld a sword, shoot an arrow and hunt as well as any human soldier. She'd even proven skilled enough to sneak and attack Jakken though Master said that that wasn't a hard thing to do which had made the toad really mad. Comforted by the thought Rin smiled sadly as she thought of all the good times she'd left behind. Despite everything she was going to miss Jakken and not just the teasing and the trouble she'd get him in but just him. And Master Rin thought, her smile fading, she would miss him as one misses a piece of themselves. Master has always been everything to her and now she was forced to leave him and it was tearing her apart. But she'd be fine Rin thought as she lifted her chin proudly. She wouldn't act like some stupid girl, crying and whining because she was being forced to do something she'd rather die then do. She'd be worthy of her master's regard; she'd make him proud of her even if he never knew of her life to come.  
  
  
  
  
  
Shesshomaru raised his head to the wind and studied it for hints of her presence and scent. He'd told his fellow demons that one of his servants had escaped with something of value and that he was going to hunt them down. They'd cheered him on and it was all he could do not to sigh in relief that they'd bought the excuse so easily. Rin would have seen through his lies, Rin always knew when he was lying even when she pretended not to. Just as he could read her Shesshomaru thought as he caught the faint scent that was hers alone in the breeze, he knew his Rin better then she knew herself. He'd already come to the conclusion that she'd been planning this for a while and would be difficult to find because he had not raised a stupid weakling. He'd taught her how to hide from attackers and he had no doubt that she'd use everything he'd taught her against him. She would stay away from highly populated areas and would most likely head to his brother's home first or in the near future. Despite his better judgment he'd allowed Rin to come into contact with the group his brother once traveled with and she would most likely seek them out for help and supplies. They might even have helped her plan this if she'd been planning it long. His brother's friends would hide her from him Shesshomaru thought with as he tensed his muscles before springing into the air to begin his search as he followed his nose in his frightening full demon form as he considered the matter further. Despite their many faults they were loyal enough to face his wrath and for some reason that amused him. Then again, Rin would never put them in harms way Shesshomaru realized with a slight start. She wouldn't put them in a situation where they'd have to face off with him. Also she'd realize that that would be the first place he'd look so she'd avoid it anyway. So where would she go? He'd have to follow her scent, that was the only choice he had.  
  
  
  
  
  
Rin carefully looked around the cabin before assuring herself that it was in good enough condition to stay in. It was still dark out and she could barely make anything out but the solid kicks shed given the building hadn't sent it toppling and she took that as a good sign. Walking back to where she'd tied up her very tired horse she led him down to the lean to by the slow moving river. Leading him over she lengthen the rope so that he could reach the water if need be. Rolling her shoulders Rin winced at the kinks she'd developed from all this sudden activity. She was use to hard work but it had been a while since she'd had to use up so much strength in such a small period of time. Wishing for a hot bath Rin sighed at the thought and looked at the river flowing gently beside her. Well at least she could take a bath she thought with a slight grimace, but it wouldn't be a hot one. But it was necessary Rin knew for her to take a bath so that she could disguise her scent. She knew that despite his rough ways Shesshomaru did care about her and might possibly come after her. He'd try to follow her scent and so it was simple logic that she needed to change her scent. Rather then buy her usual soap Rin had deliberately bought a special kind that smelled like wildflowers and added to the body lotion Kagome had given her for her birthday last year she hoped that the flowery scent would help confuse her scent and his nose. Wearily she walked back up to the cabin where she'd stashed her stuff. Rooting around in her bag she found the soap and lotion and headed for the river. Stripping down completely Rin dipped her bare foot into the water and shivering slightly forced her self to wade into the water that was close to being colder then Shesshomaru death glare.  
  
  
  
  
  
Shesshomaru came to a stop on the hill and raised his head to the air once more to double check. Her faint scent was going faint now and he could barely pick it up despite his senses superior capabilities. She was on horseback that had given her an advantage he hadn't originally anticipated. But wait a minute, he recognized this land even in the darkness. During one of his many territory checks Rin, Jakken and himself had come upon Inu- yasha and his group staying at a nearby cabin that they'd weathered a recent storm in. Would Rin remember and go there? Shesshomaru wondered and then grinned a very demon like smile as he reverted back to his more human looking image. She would. Walking quickly but quietly Shesshomaru made his way and was rewarded with the strengthening of Rin's scent. She was nearby and if he knew her at all she would stop at the river that ran nearby if only to water the horse. Minutes later he came to the cabin and carefully edged his way to the door. The door was wide open and as he entered his eye caught on a familiar backpack lying on a table. Picking it up he saw that it had some of Rin's clothing and perishable food. Setting it back down Shesshomaru left the cabin and headed down to the river where he'd bet his tail he'd find Rin.  
  
  
  
  
  
Rin quickly rubbed the shampoo into her long hair and tried to think warm thoughts in the hopes that it would warm up her body a bit. Sango said that if you imagined you were warm then you could convince your body it was warm and then you'd feel warm. It wasn't working. Sighing Rin ducked her head under the freezing water and frantically shaking her head hoped that most of the suds were out cause she couldn't take anymore. Rising to the surface Rin pushed her hair out of her eyes and turning around quickly with long honed instincts her eyes were instantly drawn to Shesshomaru's as he quietly stood on the bank staring at her as though he'd never seen her before.  
  
  
  
Note: Oh boy, oh Boy!!!! Blushing furiously. I think I'm at the edge of my first possible lemonade. Well what do you think, should I or shouldn't I? If I do it will be really tame and I promise no really inappropriate stuff. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK AND WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS LATEST CHAP!!!! THANK YOU!!! 


	3. Can't Fight The Moonlight

*****Note: As always I own nothing but the plot and the few variations of the characteristics of the characters. WARNING, Warning, Warning!!! There is some small swearing and some lemony-lime quality to this chapter. Please let me know what you think by reviewing and thanks to all how have reviewed already. I also apologize for any storyline mistakes I make but I haven't seen the show and know the show only by reading one comic book and what I've read on the net. Thanks and have a great day.*****  
  
  
  
Can't Fight The Moonlight  
  
  
  
Rin stared up at him then realizing that she was standing up in only waist deep water quickly dropped down to her knees so that the water covered most of her body from the shoulders down. Which wasn't covering near enough. "Master."  
  
Sesshomaru stared at Rin and tried to remember what he'd planned to say to her when he caught up with her. He had had it all planned out as he'd approached the waters edge but it had all left him as he'd seen her rise from the water like a goddess with her hair streaming out behind her. In that moment he'd realized how foolish he'd been to allow himself to forget that she wasn't his little pup anymore. Oh he'd been aware of her body changes, he'd had to have been blind not to but then again he hadn't seen her completely undressed since she was still a small pup. She'd grown into a beautiful girl while he wasn't looking but he saw it now and cursed the fact as he cursed the way he couldn't look away. "Rin."  
  
"How did you find me so quick?" Rin asked as she tried to get as low in the water as humanly possible without actually being under the cold water that was turning her into a human icicle as she spoke. "You should still be at your meeting."  
  
"I checked on you." Sesshomaru said raising an eyebrow as he struggled not to do something foolish like smile at the way she was trying to hide her bare figure from view. Thanks to the full moon and his own keen eyesight he could make out everything and the water was a weak barrier. And it was really too beautiful a sight to hide Sesshomaru thought then cursed the very idea. His enjoyment of the view was disgusting, as was the realization that his body was reacting to the sight. She was human; he couldn't possibly be attracted to her in that way. Could he?  
  
"Damn." Rin said more to her self then to him. She hadn't thought of that. She had figured that with all the demons around he would have drawn as little attention to her as possible. It hadn't occurred to her that he'd feel the need to check on her himself. Now here she was in a situation that she couldn't possibly come out of with a smile on her face. Closing her brown eyes for a minute she drew all her inner strength before allowing her gaze to once again connect with his.  
  
"You will come with me." Sesshomaru said simply then turned his back expecting her to do as commanded. They had a long way to go to get back and it would be necessary to travel quickly so as not to draw attention. That and he didn't think he could handle seeing her like this. Once she was dressed and they were home he'd deal with these emotions and kill them quickly and efficiently as was his way. Maybe Jakken was right for once; maybe he did need to find himself a mate.  
  
"No."  
  
  
  
"What did you say?" Sesshomaru said turning around quickly, sure that he must have misunderstood her words. She would never disobey him, she knew better then that.  
  
"I'm not going back with you Master." Rin said with a slight hitch but brave look. She didn't know why he'd followed her so far but she wasn't going to go back with him. Ever.  
  
"You will do as I say Rin." Sesshomaru growled, pinning her with a cool stare that reminded her of why he was feared by so many. And yet she looked so innocent and desirable that he wasn't even able to hold onto the ferocious expression for long and the snarl welling up in his throat died a quick death. She wouldn't disobey him; he wouldn't allow her to. Golden eyes icing over Sesshomaru looked at her and tried to think of another way to get her to do what he wanted.  
  
But she had never been one to let fear rule her and she knew that her Master wouldn't harm her no matter what she did or said. "No, I won't Master. I told you why in the letter. I appreciate that you came after me but I'm not going."  
  
"You will do as I tell you." Sesshomaru said his eyes flashing now as she simply glared back at him. He had come all this way for her, how dare she disobey him. "NOW!"  
  
"No." Rin said quietly as her tears joined the waters calmly swirling around her. "Please go."  
  
"You're mine Rin. You are mine to do with as I want and you will come with me. I'm not asking you to, I'm telling you." Sesshomaru said as he deliberately showed his fangs when he spoke. She would do as he told her to; she must Sesshomaru thought with a touch of panic.  
  
  
  
"Why Master? Why won't you let me go? If it's a matter of pride then don't you see that I'm doing more damage to it if I come with you? You hate humans remember, we're a plague on this earth, second class, worthless when compared to demons. Why would you want one by your side? Why would you want me around?" Rin asked desperate to understand.  
  
"I will decide what is best for me Rin." Sesshomaru said rather shaken by her words spoke with such authority and confidence. They were true, words he'd said before to others and even to her face though never in criticism of her, only those who'd been raised as humans. She was human, just like Kagome or countless others but neither his head nor his black heart would accept that obvious fact when he looked at her. When he looked at her he saw only Rin, he didn't see a pathetic human who didn't deserve to breath the same air as demons. He saw the sweet and loving pup he'd kept at his side through the majority of her life. And that was the root of the mess Sesshomaru realized; I've forgotten that I hate her. He'd grown to think of her as a part of him self, the good part. A reminder that he had a heart at all. She was what kept him from becoming like Naraku; she kept him from becoming a complete monster. "Come. I wish you by my side, that is all you need know."  
  
"NO!" Rin yelled as she hunched her shoulders against the cold. "Why won't you understand?"  
  
"Now Rin." Sesshomaru growled not even giving an inch. He was not going to allow her to have her way this time. His word was law and she would obey it.  
  
  
  
But instead of the yes master he'd expected his sensitive ears picked up; on the sound of silent weeping. No longer even bothering to cover her self Rin sat in the water, head bowed as tears streamed down her face. "Rin?" Not answering Rin continued to quietly weep as though her heart were breaking. Staring at her Sesshomaru felt so helpless, he hadn't felt this helpless since he was a child. Unsure of what to do he tried to remember what one was suppose to do in these situations. Rin had never been a crier and whenever she did cry she usually went off to do it in private. He could leave her here until she got control of her emotions but he couldn't leave her in the water. She was visibly shivering in the open air and if she didn't get out soon she might get very sick. Humans were very weak when it came to facing the elements and he wouldn't allow her to fall victim to the cold. Realizing this Sesshomaru quickly undid the ties for his outer robe and took it off along with his sword. Throwing the robe over his shoulder and onto a rock Sesshomaru walked into the freezing water and continued on until he stood in front of her still form. Leaning over he picked her shaking form up and holding her tightly against his chest walked back out feeling as though he were holding a piece of ice. Reaching shore he ignored his own wet garments and picked up his robe. Keeping an arm around her waist Sesshomaru quickly slide her arms through the sleeves and wrapping it firmly around her picked her up once again. Cradling her carefully in his arms he walked a short distance to a large rock figuring that it would be safer then entering that death trap of a cabin again.  
  
"Its all right Rin." Sesshomaru said feeling helpless as she just lay limp in his arms as though she were dead, the only sign that she was still alive was her heavy breathing. Unsure what to do Sesshomaru simply held her tighter and tried to absorb the cold from her body into his own, laying his tail over her for added warmth. Minutes later he sighed. Though she was still shivering slightly she was breathing better and had curled into him instead of just laying there which he took as a good sign.  
  
"I'm sorry." Rin whispered and Sesshomaru actually sighed with relief, she was going to be all right. Rubbing his hands up and down her sides Sesshomaru allowed himself to smile slightly as he looked down at her.  
  
"It's all right." Sesshomaru said as he carefully pushed her head down to lay over his heart and simply held her.  
  
  
  
  
  
Surprised at the affection she was being shown Rin simply allowed his to press her down and with a sigh listened to his heart beat strongly under her ear. He'd shown her small measures of affection before but never like this. He was holding her like she was made of delicate glass, as though if he weren't careful she'd shatter.  
  
"Don't ever do that again Rin." Sesshomaru said simply and Rin tilted her head up to see him staring down at her with eyes that glowed with emotions unsaid and unreadable.  
  
"Don't ever do what?" Rin said with a faint smile, she'd done a lot of things tonight that she wouldn't be doing ever again; especially in front of her master.  
  
"Run away from me. If you leave I will simply hunt you down and bring you back. I don't care what anyone else thinks, you'll stay with me and that's final." Sesshomaru said and Rin felt hope grow in her heart then quickly die.  
  
"But you see I have to go Master. Even if it weren't for the fact that my being with you causes you trouble and that I'm a bother to you. There's a very good reason why I have to leave and you need to let me go." Rin said with a sad smile as she broke her master's gaze to stare at her chest instead.  
  
"And that reason would be?" Sesshomaru asked curiously as he took note of the way she was trying to hide from him even though it was pointless. "Whatever it I will take care of it."  
  
"It's not something you can take care of Master. No one can." Rin said as she felt one last solitary tear roll down her cheek.  
  
"Tell me." Sesshomaru demanded rather insulted that she believed that he couldn't undo the problem. What could it possibly be that she thinks I cannot handle.  
  
"I cannot tell you." Rin said burying her face in his inner robes, knowing that it was useless to hide but nonetheless doing so. "Please do not ask me."  
  
"I will ask and you will tell me." Sesshomaru said getting rather angry at her actions. She was obviously afraid of something and how could he protect her from it if she wouldn't tell him what it was. There was nothing that he feared and he would kill whatever had struck fear into her innocent heart. "If you tell me I won't force you to come with me." he added though he instantly regretted it. If he was wrong then he would lose her, on the other hand if she told him then he could rid her of her worries and she would come back with him willingly.  
  
"You wouldn't understand." Rin said as she closed her eyes.  
  
"Try me." Sesshomaru said feeling another shiver run down his spine. Something was seriously wrong here and he knew that everything hinged on whatever was bothering her.  
  
  
  
"You really want to know why I have to leave you?" Rin said knowing that she couldn't continue this game they were playing. He wouldn't leave till she explained and explaining it to him would get rid of him pretty quick. He won't be able to get away fast enough Rin thought bitterly.  
  
"Yes." Sesshomaru said glad that she was looking him in the eyes now. He'd taught her better then to hide like a coward. But that look in her eye troubled him and he braced for her words without even realizing he was holding his breath.  
  
"This is why I can't stay with you." Rin said and before she could think better of it she placed a hand on either side of his face and forced his head down to her waiting lips. Holding his head she kissed him with everything she had, knowing that this would be her only chance. Grinding her lips into his she took and gave everything she had to give; her love, passion and wants. This was why she couldn't stay with him, because she couldn't control the way she felt about him. Moving her hands they caressed his face then moved to twine into his hair as she stroked and petted. As if frozen Sesshomaru made no move to stop her nor to respond, simply sitting there as she tried to make him understand. When she'd finally run out of air Rin drew back and still holding his head inches from her own stared at him with eyes filled with emotion. "Now do you understand?"  
  
"You wish to find a mate?" Sesshomaru said staring at her while struggling to gain control of his treacherous body. It had taken all of his control not to respond to her kiss and touch, it was only the thought that she was Rin that prevented him from taking her right here and now. It didn't even matter that she was human anymore, he wanted her but he would never do that to Rin, she probably didn't even have any idea what her kisses and touch had done to him.  
  
"No Master, I don't want to find a mate. I've already found the only mate I could ever want and that's the problem. That's why you have to let me go Master. I'm a human Master like my father and his father before him. The blood running through my veins and keeps me alive is human and I can't change that even if I wanted to. If I could I would in a heartbeat but I can't. I know that I can never have you so please don't make me have to stay with you knowing that I'll never be anything more then a possession." Rin cried as she stared him, forcing him to see the truth in her words.  
  
  
  
"You wish to be my mate?" Sesshomaru said his eyes going wide as her words hit home like arrows through his heart. He'd never considered that Rin might be feeling the same way he'd felt when he'd seen her rise from the water. Never even considered that love might be behind the affection she showed him occasionally.  
  
"Yes." Rin said as she quickly moved off his lap, stumbling slightly on her weak legs. Standing with her back to him, his robes wrapped tightly wrapped around her as the moonlight shone down on her giving her an almost mystical look.  
  
But it wasn't a dream Sesshomaru thought as he felt his heart beating painfully against his ribs. Rin loved him; she wouldn't want to be his mate otherwise. "Rin.I.."  
  
"You don't need to say anything Master, I understand."  
  
Sesshomaru watched as she walked over to another large rock and pick up one of her own outer robes that she'd obviously. Moving behind a tree Sesshomaru waited as seconds later she reappeared wearing her own robe. Head bowed slightly she walked over and set his robe down beside him before quickly moving away. "Good-bye Master. I hope that you have a good life, I'll put in a good word for you anyway." Rin said head still bowed and not even able to look at him one last time turned around to leave but was stopped as his strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back hard against his chest.  
  
  
  
  
  
"I didn't say you could leave." Sesshomaru stated as he held her immobile against him. He hadn't bothered to put his own outer robes on and he could feel ever curve and dip through his thin shirt.  
  
"Why aren't you leaving? You should be disgusted at the very least." Rin said as she tried to ignore the pain/pleasure of being held in his arms. "Why are you still here?"  
  
"Why should I be disgusted that you wish me for a mate?" Sesshomaru asked though it would have normally been obvious. All he knew was that he wasn't going to let her go now that she'd told him her feelings.  
  
"Because I'm a human god dammit!" Rin said wiggling enough in his embrace to turn around so that she was facing him. "You'd sooner welcome Inu-yasha into the family and fall on your own blade then admit affection for a human much less keep one around who can't keep her hands off of you."  
  
"Are you saying you can't?" Sesshomaru said rather intrigued at the idea. Perhaps this is why his father had found Inu-yasha's mother so irresistible, they were such passionate creatures these human females.  
  
"That's exactly what I'm saying." Rin said feeling slightly nervous at the feelings Sesshomaru was generating. Having known him for most of her life she understood and could read his body language very well and what she was sensing was confusing her. He didn't seem upset about the idea at all, he seemed to be enjoying this. "Which is why I'm leaving you."  
  
"No that's the reason you're going to stay with me." Sesshomaru said as he lowered his head to take possession of her mouth. Ignoring the little voice that said what he was doing was wrong Sesshomaru ignored it and returned Rin's kisses and caresses with a tenderness she would have never thought he was capable of showing. Closing her eyes on a moan Rin returned the kisses and ignored her own little voices that said that there would be hell to pay for this. She knew that Sesshomaru could never care for her the way she cared for him, she'd known that for a long time. But she'd take what he would give her. She would take this night and damn the consequences to hell. Agreeing with her Sesshomaru removed the robe covering her form and with a growl of possession made her his body and heart.  
  
Note: I used this song because it was going through my head the whole time I was writing this fic and since lemons are no longer allowed and I don't have the experience or the no-how to write a really good one anyway I put the song in because it's a beautiful song and it drives home the fact that what Sesshomaru and Rin are doing is out of love and not just lust. Hope you like and I added a bit more at the end so if your not interested in the song just skip down. Thanks for reading so far.  
  
  
  
CAN'T FIGHT THE MOONLIGHT Words & Music by DIANE WARREN  
  
UNDER A LOVER'S SKY  
  
GONNA BE WITH YOU  
  
AND NO-ONES GONNA BE AROUND  
  
IF YOU THINK THAT YOU WON'T FALL  
  
WELL JUST WAIT UNTIL, 'TIL THE SUN GOES DOWN  
  
UNDERNEATH THE STARLIGHT, STARLIGHT  
  
THERE'S A MAGICAL FEELING SO RIGHT  
  
IT WILL TAKE YOU IN TONIGHT  
  
  
  
YOU CAN TRY TO RESIST  
  
TRY TO HIDE FROM MY KISS  
  
BUT YOU KNOW, BUT YOU KNOW THAT YOU  
  
CAN'T FIGHT THE MOONLIGHT  
  
DEEP IN THE DARK  
  
YOU'LL SURRENDER YOUR HEART  
  
DON'T YOU KNOW, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU  
  
CAN'T FIGHT THE MOONLIGHT  
  
NO, YOU CANÕT FIGHT IT  
  
IT'S GONNA GET TO YOUR HEART  
  
THERE'ÕS NO ESCAPE FROM LOVE  
  
ONCE THE GENTLE BREEZE WEAVES Its SPELL UPON YOUR HEART  
  
NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK  
  
IT WON'T BE TOO LONG 'TIL YOU'RE IN MY ARMS  
  
UNDERNEATH THE STARLIGHT, STARLIGHT  
  
WE'LL BE LOST IN A RHYTHM SO RIGHT  
  
FEEL IT STEAL YOUR HEART TONIGHT  
  
  
  
YOU CAN TRY TO RESIST  
  
TRY TO HIDE FROM MY KISS  
  
BUT YOU KNOW, BUT YOU KNOW THAT YOU  
  
CAN'T FIGHT THE MOONLIGHT  
  
DEEP IN THE DARK  
  
YOU'LL SURRENDER YOUR HEART  
  
DON'T YOU KNOW, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU  
  
CAN'T FIGHT THE MOONLIGHT  
  
NO, YOU CAN'T FIGHT IT  
  
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO  
  
THE NIGHT IS GONNA GET TO YOU  
  
CAN'T FIGHT IT, DON'T TRY IT  
  
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA WIN  
  
'COZ UNDERNEATH THE STARLIGHT, STARLIGHT  
  
THERE'S A MAGICAL FEELING SO RIGHT  
  
IT WILL STEAL YOUR HEART TONIGHT  
  
  
  
YOU CAN TRY TO RESIST  
  
TRY TO HIDE FROM MY KISS  
  
BUT YOU KNOW, BUT YOU KNOW THAT YOU  
  
CAN'T FIGHT THE MOONLIGHT  
  
DEEP IN THE DARK  
  
YOU'LL SURRENDER YOUR HEART  
  
DON'T YOU KNOW, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU  
  
CAN'T FIGHT THE MOONLIGHT  
  
NO, YOU CAN'T FIGHT IT IT'S GOING TO GET TO YOUR HEART.  
  
  
  
  
  
Rin came awake as she'd been trained to wake since she was a child. Senses humming she took in everything she could from her other senses without opening her eyes a crack. Keeping her eyes closed Rin contented herself with listening to the strong heart that was beating beneath her palm. Leaving her hand there Rin tried to think of how she was going to get out of the mess she'd got herself in. She'd seduced her Master and now there would be hell to pay. It was morning now and when he awoke from his slumber he'd be so angry both at her and at himself. But she couldn't just leave him here; she knew it as well as she now knew the body beneath her. He wouldn't let this past, she wouldn't get more then a couple of feet before he awoke and stopped her.  
  
  
  
Sesshomaru didn't bother to open his eyes as he felt her stir. During the night he'd rolled over so that she wouldn't have to sleep on the cold ground and so she lay on top of him with her dark head pressed against his neck and her hand over his heart. Breathing in her scent Sesshomaru wondered how he had come to this point. His life now depended upon her, his heart was only willing to beat as long as she was near and his soul was only alive when he had her to look after it. She had become as necessary to him as breathing and he accepted this. There would be hell to pay for this but it would be hell to live without her, and it would be a hell without her in it to lead him to heaven. Feeling her shift Sesshomaru opened her eyes to see her leaning over him with her arms braced on either side of her head to keep her up. Staring at her without a word Sesshomaru watched her hair hang around her in disarray like a curtain. Reaching out he gently ran a hand through her hair and watched a smile bloom on her face at the gesture.  
  
"Sesshomaru?" Rin said looking deep into his eyes and Sesshomaru smiled slightly at the sound of his given name on her lips. It wouldn't do for her to call him that in public but he would allow it when they were alone.  
  
"Rin." Sesshomaru returned looking up at her, making no move to get up or push her away. Confusion showing on her face she waited for the words that had yet to come. Reading her correctly Sesshomaru tried to figure out how to tell her how he felt but didn't know how. He'd never been in this situation before, had intended to never be in the situation where he loved something more then even his life. Not knowing what to do Sesshomaru leaned up on his elbows and gently nuzzled her neck, trying to show her how he felt without words. When she rubbed her cheek against his own he looked up and met her gaze with the emotions he could express in his golden eyes. Feeling her hands reach out to stroke his head he smiled as he heard her quietly whisper into his ear.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
  
  
Well What Did You Think? Good/Bad? I Should Never Try To Write This Type Of Fic Ever Again? PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW CAUSE I DEPEND UPON REVIEWS TO LET ME KNOW WHETHER TO CONTINUE OR NOT. THANKS. 


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